


Independence Day

by DKNC



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1899228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DKNC/pseuds/DKNC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rickard Stark's annual Fourth of July corporate picnic forces Ned Stark to return to Winterfell in spite of the fact that the last person he feels prepared to face is his brother's girlfriend, Catelyn Tully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Independence Day

_I am some kind of masochist,_ Ned Stark thought as he sat down at a picnic table and waited for the rest of his family to arrive. His father was already here, of course, as this was his big event. The annual Fourth of July picnic held at Winterfell for Stark Manufacturing was eagerly anticipated by everyone at the corporation and well attended by everyone from the highest executives to the most newly hired floor workers, and Rickard Stark got to show off the grounds of his obscenely large estate, engender good will among all his employees, and offer a tremendous demonstration of patriotism which certainly played well to the masses.

 _God, I’m becoming a cynic,_ Ned thought. He knew perfectly well that his father was a good man who honestly did love his country and wanted to do something spectacular for the people who worked for him. The fact that he was pragmatic enough to do it in a way that also provided maximum benefit to him didn’t make him wrong. Stark’s workers were among the highest paid in the region and certainly had some of the best benefits because Rickard Stark had learned long ago that investing well in your employees generally attracted and retained the best people and that quality people tended to lead to profit. He’d certainly beat that concept into Ned’s and Brandon’s heads often enough.

He spotted his father now, standing near the entrance to the picnic area and personally greeting early arrivals, chest puffed out proudly as he pointed a family with young children toward the large field where the carnival rides were set up. His hair was entirely grey and his face bore the lines that had been etched in grief since Lyarra Stark’s death too many years ago, but otherwise his father looked fit enough, and Ned smiled at the sight of him. He’d been so happy when Ned had relented and agreed to attend this year’s picnic. _That makes one of us,_ Ned thought glumly, his smile fading.

He’d spent as little time as possible at home since Christmas, volunteering to travel extensively to meet with both suppliers and distributors all over the country. When his presence had been required at the office, he still had avoided Winterfell, preferring to stay at his own apartment in town, and he thought he probably hadn’t spent more than five or six days at his family’s ancient estate since the first of the year. If his father suspected the reason for his absence, he never mentioned it. Lya knew, but for all her impulsiveness, his sister knew when to keep her mouth shut.

Ned looked at his watch, sighed when he saw it was only eleven a.m., and wondered what time the beer tents would start serving. 

“Ned!” came a booming voice, and he looked up to see his best friend from school, Robert Baratheon, coming toward him with Ned’s own sister holding his hand. Ned’s smile was genuine as he shook his head at the two of them. He’d heard from Lyanna herself that his fiercely independent and often demanding little sister was dating his notoriously womanizing friend, but he hadn’t actually believed it until he saw them here hand in hand. He rose to greet them.

“How are you, Stark?” Robert exclaimed, letting go of Lya’s hand to wrap Ned in a bear hug. “I thought you’d been eaten by wild animals or kidnapped by aliens or something.”

“Or something,” Lyanna muttered behind him, and Ned shot her a warning look over Robert’s shoulder.

“I haven’t seen you in a million years!” Robert went on.

“Christmas, Robert,” Ned corrected him. “That’s barely more than six months.”

“Feels like a million years. Damn, it’s good to see you man.”

Robert’s enthusiasm was both genuine and infectious, and Ned felt truly happy about being here for the first time that day. “I’ve missed you, too,” he said. Turning toward Lyanna, he smirked, “I need to have a serious talk with you, however, little sister. Have you taken leave of your senses?” He gave an exaggerated eye roll toward Robert, and Lya and Robert both laughed.

“I know what I’m doing,” she said airily, leaning in to give him a kiss. “Do you?” she hissed in his ear while her face was up against his.

He glared at her, and Robert saw it, mistaking the cause. “Jesus, Ned! I’m not that terrible. Ease up a little, would you?”

“What? Oh, I’m sorry, Robert. I didn’t mean.” He shook his head. “I’m just tired. My flight got in pretty late last night so forgive me if I’m a crab.”

Lyanna scanned the food and beverage tents ringing the picnic tables. “There!” she finally said, pointing to the beer tent directly opposite them. “See the girl with the really dark hair over there, darker than mine?”

“The one with the big . . .?” Robert put his hands up in front of his chest in demonstration.

“Yeah,” Lyanna laughed. “Her name’s Emily. Go tell her you remember her from when she waited on you at the BrewHaus and flirt with her. Dad doesn’t want the beer to start flowing until 1 o’clock, but I’m betting you can charm some out of her.”

Robert laughed. “I do love how your mind works, my lady,” he said, bowing like a knight out of some stupid movie and kissing her hand before heading off toward the beer tent to complete his assigned quest.

“Seriously, Lya?” Ned asked her, cocking a brow. “You seriously just sent Robert Baratheon, who you tell me is your _boyfriend_ , to flirt with some other girl?” He shook his head. “Playing with fire, Lya!”

“Oh, sit down, Eddard,” she said, rolling her eyes at him and sitting down herself. “I know Robert very well. He’s going to flirt with every pretty girl he sees whether I allow it or not. He can’t help himself. If he’s doing it because I told him to, then he doesn’t feel guilty about it. If he’s doing something for me, he’s thinking about me even while he flirts, see? So, he doesn’t end up guilty, depressed, and hating himself to the point that he fucks somebody to make himself feel better!” 

Ned shook his head at his sister. “Is this what they’re teaching you in those psychology classes you love so much?”

She laughed. “Just don’t worry about it. Robert and I understand each other, Ned. I never would have thought so, but . . .” She shrugged. “We’re good. And he’s actually honest with me, believe it or not. He says he’s never been honest with a girl before in his life.”

“That’s certainly true,” Ned said darkly, recalling his and Robert’s own college days.

“Anyway, I’m only twenty-one. I’m still in school. I’m not looking to marry the guy or anything. It’s just . . .good right now, okay? Trust me, Ned. I know how to take care of myself. The question is, do you?”

Ned scowled. “I’m fine, Lya.”

“No, you aren’t. And if you’re like this just thinking about seeing her, what are you going to be like when she gets here?” She sighed. “That’s why I sent Robert off--well, that, and I thought we could all use the beer. Talk to me, Ned. Have you spoken to her at all since . . .”

“God, no!” He shook his head. “How am I supposed to talk to her, Lya? She’s my brother’s girlfriend. She and Brandon are practically engaged. I had no right to . . .”

She frowned. “Well, she is Brandon’s girlfriend, although I don’t know about that practically engaged part. As for your rights . . .Ned, you didn’t do anything! It was only a . . .”

“Victory!” came a booming voice, and Ned and Lyanna looked up to see Robert coming toward them carrying three big plastic cups filled with beer. 

“That was fast,” Ned said, forcing himself to smile again.

“I’m talented,” Robert grinned, handing him one of the cups. “That’s why your sister loves me,” he said with a rather leering look.

“Jesus, man. I don’t want to hear that!”

Lyanna laughed and looked toward the beer tent where Ned noted that the dark haired Emily was staring at the the three of them. “She doesn’t look happy,” Lya said, nodding in the tent’s direction.

“Oh,” Robert said. “I told her I needed beer for a couple of my friends. I might have neglected to mention that one of my friends was the hottest girl here.”

Lyanna grinned at him. “And don’t you forget it,” she said.

“Not a chance,” Robert answered. Then before Ned’s eyes, he grabbed Lya around the waist, nearly causing her to spill her beer, and laying a kiss on her that would no doubt leave the poor, misled Emily in no doubt as to where Robert’s interest lay.

“And I didn’t need to see that,” he said irritably.

“We all see things we’d rather not at times,” Lya said pointedly. “Oh, good lord,” she said, looking toward where their father still stood greeting guests. “Dad’s giving us the evil eye. You two take the beer out of sight and I’ll go placate him by being charming to all these wonderful people I’ve never met.” She gave Ned a peck on the cheek. “Love you,” she said. Then she took an alarmingly huge swig of her own beer and handed the rest to Robert before tiptoeing and stretching up to plant a quick kiss on the big man’s lips. “Love you,” she said with a grin. Then she flounced off toward Rickard Stark with a smile glued to her face.

“God, I love her,” Robert said with feeling, and Ned didn’t miss the fact that he was staring directly at her ass as she walked away. Nor was he unaware that Lya was moving that ass rather more than necessary as she walked, undoubtedly entirely for Robert’s benefit. 

“I may be sick,” he said, taking a healthy swig of his own beer.

“No, man,” Robert said, turning back to look at him with a serious expression on his face. “I really love her. She’s . . .amazing. I don’t know how I didn’t fall for her the first time I ever laid eyes on her!”

“Maybe because she was ten years old then,” Ned said sourly. “Come on. Let’s get this beer out of my father’s line of sight or Lya’s efforts will go to waste.” 

Robert laughed as Ned led him between two tents into a wooded area behind them. “Twenty-five years old and we’re still hiding beer from your father! If only Brandon were here, it’d be like high school again! He and Cat are coming aren’t they?”

“Yes,” said Ned shortly, not wishing to discuss his brother or Catelyn Tully. “Robert, you do realize Lya’s only twenty-one, right? I mean, she talks a good game. And she acts all confident and all tough. But you could really hurt her. Do you understand that?”

Robert looked at him for a long moment. “I understand Lyanna better than you think, Ned. I know what you think about me when it comes to girls and I’m telling you she’s different. I’m different with her. Because of her.” He stopped suddenly as if searching for words, and it occurred to Ned he’d never known Robert to particularly care if he found the right words for anything before. He always spoke without thought. “I can’t imagine you were happy to hear I’m banging your sister,” he said finally, and Ned grimaced. If that’s the best Robert could come up with after thinking, perhaps he shouldn’t put in the effort. “But that’s not what this is about,” his friend continued. “I really do love her, Ned. And I know she’s young. And I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t ever want to hurt her.”

Robert Baratheon’s dark blue eyes were filled with more sincerity than he could ever recall seeing there when he spoke about any woman, and he wanted to believe that these two people he loved so much could actually find something good with each other, but doubt remained. _I have become a cynic,_ he thought. “I know you don’t want to hurt her, Robert. Unforunately, what we want and what we do aren’t always the same thing.” He forced the memory of Christmas from his mind. “Try to remember that and be careful, okay?”

Robert looked at him and nodded. “I will,” he said seriously. “I promise.” Then he grinned. “You want half of what’s left of Lya’s beer?”

Ned laughed, and the two of them drifted into conversation about other things and remembrances of past adventures. He had no idea how much time had passed in the entertaining company of his friend before he heard the voice he’d second most dreaded hearing today.

“I knew I’d find you two reprobates here!”

Ned and Robert looked up to see Brandon strolling into the clearing with three beers in his hand and his trademark grin on his handsome face.

“Brandon!” Robert replied enthusiastically. “You know perfectly well that you and I are the reprobates. Ned’s the chaperone!”

“The voice of conscience,” Brandon intoned.

“Our own personal Jiminy Cricket,” Robert laughed, and Brandon joined the laughter.

“You two are hilarious,” Ned said. “I see you brought beer, Brandon. Care to share?”

“Hello to you, too, little brother,” Brandon said, handing him the beer. “Lighten up and be happy to see me, why don’t you?”

“You saw me two weeks ago at the acquisitions meeting at Stark,” Ned said. 

“Oh, you’re not still pissed because I disagreed with you about that little place upstate, are you? That place was a shithole, Ned. There’s no way . . .”

That wasn’t actually why Ned was uncomfortable with his brother, but he did believe Brandon had been wrong about it, and he eagerly latched on to it as a reason for his less than stellar attitude. “You were wrong, Brandon. There are good people up there, and that town’s hurting for industry. We could come in and do something that really benefited them . . .and us. Stark has the . . .”

“NOPE!” Robert interjected forcefully. “You are not talking business today, boys. And you are definitely not arguing about business. Boring!! And it confuses me when you insist on referring to your galactic empire simply as ‘Stark’. I think you’re talking about each other rather than the Death Star or whatever.”

“Stark Manufacturing is a corporation, not a galactic empire,” Ned said with a bit of a laugh.

“And we don’t even make weapons,” Brandon added. “Although a Death Star would be cool--or lightsabers, maybe. We could expand into lightsaber production! What do you think, Ned?” He began to pantomine lightsaber moves complete with reasonable sound effects.

Ned couldn’t help responding to his brother’s grin. In some ways, his older brother was a perpetual twelve year old, but he was an incredibly likable twelve year old. “Lightsabers would be cool,” he agreed, smiling.

“Lya tell you where we were?” Robert asked him.

“She told me she gave you beer and sent you to hide from dad. I knew where you’d be as soon as she said that!”

All three of them laughed then at the memory of multiple teenaged nights spent in this very clearing. Brandon, two years older had always been willing to allow Ned and his friend to tag along with his older crowd, enjoying the obvious hero worship Robert lavished on him as he tried to emulate him in so many ways. Ned, ever more serious than his brother or his best friend had been more or less content to live in the shadow of their exploits, not afraid to push the limits their father set, but always the one to keep things from getting completely out of control.

“Where’s Cat?” Robert asked suddenly. “You brought her, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I brought her,” Brandon assured him. “But no way was I bringing a chick to our secret spot.” He clapped Robert on the back. “I left her with Lya. They’ll be fine.”

“God, I haven’t seen Cat since . . ..I guess it was your dad’s Christmas party,” Robert said, and Ned watched Brandon’s jaw tighten. _Fuck you, Brandon,_ he thought. _The whole goddamn thing was your idea._

“Yeah,” Brandon said. “She got pretty messed up that night. Not like her, at all.”

“I thought she was great!” Robert said. “She talked to me more that night than she ever had. And, Brandon, you were trashed that night, so I don‘t think you have any room to talk about your girl.” He grinned. “Of course, I liked the New Year’s Eve party better.”

Ned watched Brandon force his mind away from Christmas. “Have you told Ned about that party?” he asked Robert. "He missed it, you remember.”

Ned had fled from Winterfell so fast after Christmas, he’d not stopped running until after New Year’s. He stood in the clearing now, recalling Brandon’s laughing, intoxicated face as he’d shoved him at Cat under the mistletoe. 

_“Go on! Give her a kiss, man! It’s Christmas!”_

_“Brandon, I don’t think . . .”_

_“It’s just a little kiss, you idiot. It’s not like you’ll be fucking her.”_

Brandon’s friends had laughed then, Catelyn had turned scarlet, and Ned had never in his life wanted so much to put his fist through his brother’s face. He still remembered how he’d actually raised his arm only to feel Cat’s hand on it.

_“Please, Ned. He’s drunk. He doesn’t mean anything. Just kiss me really quick. I don’t mind. We’re friends, right?”_

She’d looked up at him,and those blue eyes that always seemed to look right into his soul had a desperate sort of plea in them, and he’d nodded. He’d leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips praying that nothing that he felt for her showed on his face or in his touch.

To his surprise, her eyes had widened briefly as their lips met, and then closed. A soft “oh” had escaped her lips as she pulled away from him after just a fraction of a second longer than she should have. He had been unable to speak and had tasted the red wine she’d been drinking when he licked his lips.

Brandon had looked back and forth between the two of them, and his face had darkened.

_“You son of a bitch! You enjoyed that.”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous, Brandon!” Cat licked her own lips as she grabbed Brandon’s arm. “You told your brother to kiss your girlfriend, and he did. For all of three seconds.” She smiled up at him. “All rules of mistletoe have now been followed. So will you please get your girl another drink?”_

She’d already been on her way to drunk then, Ned recalled. Not nearly as much as she was later, though. And certainly nowhere near as drunk as Brandon. Ned swallowed, not really wanting to think about what had happened later.

“Are you even listening to us?” Robert asked. “Earth to Eddard! Where are you, man?”

Startled, Ned realized that Brandon and Robert had been regaling him with the tale of how Robert had hooked up with Lyanna at the Stark New Year’s Eve party, thus initiating their somewhat whirlwind romance. On the whole, Ned decided he was likely better off not knowing the details.

“I’m right here, Robert,” he said. “And I’m listening. Forgive me if I still can’t help thinking that keeping my face entirely blank is the best possible response I can make in response to the amorous adventures of you and my sister.”

Brandon laughed out loud then, any tension between them obviously already forgotten on his part. “I told you he wouldn’t really appreciate this story, Robert.” To Ned, he said, “I pretty much wanted to kill him that night, too, you know. But Lya was having none of it.” He shook his head. “I’m afraid she’s grown up whether we like it or not. Hell, even Ben’s seventeen, now! You and I are old, man!”

“Speak for yourself,” Ned told him.

“Only two years, little bro. I’ve only got you by two years.” He grinned. “So, how come you didn’t bring a date to subject to all this family fun?” he asked then.

Ned shrugged. “No one I hate badly enough to want to put them through it?”

Robert laughed. “Your brother’s studying for the priesthood, Brandon. Hasn’t he told you?”

“Ha. Ha.” Ned said, turning up his cup to finish the last of the beer Brandon had brought him.

“Seriously, man. Have you dated anybody since Ashara? That was back in college!”

“Wylla,” Brandon put in. “That was her name, wasn’t it Ned? That little gal you went out with for awhile last summer. “The school teacher?”

Ned nodded absently. “We went out a few times. She didn’t like it up here much. Moved back south where she’s from."

“That’s it?” Robert asked. “Two women in . . .what . . .five years?”

Ned glared at him. “I’ve gone out with other women, Robert.” And he had. But never more than one or two times. He’d only gone out with Wylla four times, truth be told. And he’d never slept with her. _There’s only one woman,_ he thought. _And she isn’t mine. And she likely hates me._

“Looks like everybody’s beers are empty,” Brandon said. “is it one o’clock yet?”

Ned looked at his watch. “One-fifteen,” he said with a grin.

“No more sneaking around like guilty kids,” Robert said, high fiving Brandon exactly like a kid.

Ned smiled at his brother and his best friend. “No. We can drink openly now. But let’s pace ourselves and not get sloppy, okay? You and I have to ‘maintain a respectable demeanor for our employees’,” he said to Brandon, mimicking Rickard Stark’s best autocratic tone. “And you,” he said, poking a finger into Robert’s chest, “are not allowed to embarrass my sister today.”

“Yes, Mother,” Brandon said.

“Scout’s Honor,” Robert promised.

Ned shook his head at both of them. “I am not your mother, and you were never a boy scout.”

“He’s onto us, Brandon,” Robert said in a stage whisper, and Ned laughed in spite of himself.

“The fireworks aren’t until ten o’clock,” he said. “I’m afraid this could get to be a very long day.”

“At least the weather’s not unbearably hot,” Robert said as they began to walk back out of the woods. “And I’ve got my lovely Lyanna to keep me smiling. Speaking of lovely girls and your advanced age of twenty-seven, Brandon, are you ever going to break down and marry poor Cat? You two have been together, what, four years now?”

“Just a little more than three,” Brandon said quietly. “And I don’t know.”

Something in his voice made Ned look up at him sharply. Robert apparently heard it, too.

“Trouble in paradise?” Robert asked.

“No . . .” Brandon said slowly. “It’s just . . .we’ve been together more than three years, and she’s great. And I love her. I do. It’s . . .how do you know, really?” He stopped walking and looked at both Ned and Robert, and Ned realized his irreverent, often immature brother was being deadly serious. “How do you decide that this is it? Forever and ever? I mean, what if one day you finally decide, all right, let’s make this forever, and the next day you meet someone you’d never imagined existed?”

“I don’t know, Brandon,” Robert said softly. “Honestly, I never even thought about it before Lya. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to do forever. Not really. Not happily. But now I wonder.” He looked thoughtful. “I’d kind of like to think it is.”

“What do you think, Ned?” Brandon asked him. It was an honest question, and his brother was truly seeking his opinion just as he sometimes did on serious business matters.

“Is it possible to be content with one person?” he said, clarifying the question. “Yes,” he said positively. “I know it is.”

“Says the man whose only long term relationship ended because the girl decided she wasn’t ready to commit to one person,” Robert snorted. “You're worse than a chick, Ned. Hopeless romantic.”

“You’re starting to sound more and more like him since my sister got a hold of you,” Brandon countered. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re right, Ned. Content. Yeah, I could be content. I just don’t know if content is all I want. Know what I mean?”

 _How can you look at her and not be certain of everything you’d ever want?_ Ned thought. Aloud, he said, “I suppose so. But she does love you, Brandon. So if you love her . . .”

Brandon shrugged, but before he could say anything, their youngest brother’s voice came to them above the noise of the now far more crowded picnic area. “Found them, Lya!”

“Ben!” Brandon scolded. “No leading women to our hideouts, little brother! If I’d suspected you capable of such a thing, I’d never have taken you there.”

“Don’t get your panties in a wad, Brandon,” the youngest Stark answered without missing a beat. “Lya was all about traipsing through the woods searching for you delinquents who left her to babysit Dad for over an hour! I kept her near the picnic ground and away from you guys. So, now do me a solid and give me credit for retrieving you.”

Ned laughed. Benjen tended to be a bit more serious natured like himself, but when riled, like Brandon and Lyanna, he never hesitated to give as good as he got and take no prisoners. He was also sneakier than any of them, except maybe Lya. Ned suspected his sister was capable of more subterfuge than any of them actually realized and wondered idly if he should be warning Robert about her as much as the other way around.

“Hey Gorgeous! Did you miss me?” Robert called out now, and Ned saw his sister coming their way, her grey eyes looking like storm clouds.

“Not as much as I missed my idiot brothers,” she said, glaring at first Brandon and then Ned. “When I said I’d handle Dad and be nice to strangers, I didn’t mean all damn day! You two are up now!” Turning to Brandon specifically, she said, “Especially you. Poor Cat’s stuck over there now trying to explain to his lordship how his heir apparent managed to finally show up at his picnic only to disappear without speaking to a soul, including the good lord himself!”

“His lordship?” Robert asked, laughing.

Ned laughed in return. “It’s what my mother used to call my dad when he’d get all high handed and full of himself. Lord Rickard. Back when we were kids. You’ve never heard us use it before? Lya’s especially fond of the term.”

Lya made a face. “That would be because _Lord Rickard_ gets high handed and dictatorial with me far more often than with you boys!”

Robert laughed loudly. “Well, that’s downright unAmerican!” he declared indignantly, putting an arm around her to show solidarity and support in her oppression. “Isn’t that what today’s all about--getting rid of that sort of nonsense?” He kissed her quickly. “Let’s go grab a hotdog in the name of equality and liberty and send your brothers there off to do battle in the House of Lords!”

Laughing herself now, Lya let Robert propel her away with a careless wave at her brothers over her shoulders.

“Come on,” Ned said grimly. “Time to face the music.”

“Not me!” Ben piped up. I’ve been a model son. Got introduced to several old men, a bunch of church ladies, and three dudes who actually showed up at a picnic in suits as ‘my son, Benjen, the baby of the family’.” His impression of Rickard Stark wasn’t quite as good as Ned’s, but it made them laugh, as did his grimace over being perpetually identified as the ‘baby of the family.’

“All right, Ben,” Ned said good naturedly. “You’re off the hook. Go see if anyone who works for Stark has pretty teenaged daughters.”

“I really need to spend some time with Cat,” Brandon started as Ben ran off.

“Not so fast there, my friend. She’s with Dad, remember? And you are _not_ getting out of this and leaving me holding the bag.”

Brandon squared his shoulders. “All right. We’ll go down together. Brothers to the end.”

Only the twinkle in his grey eyes betrayed him, and Ned snorted. “Brothers,” he said, trying not to laugh himself.

Rickard Stark wasn’t laughing. His eyes were hard as stone as he fixed the two of them with his gaze long before they reached him. Catelyn Tully stood beside him, auburn hair resplendent in the July sunshine, smiling as she greeted several small children who’d run up to throw their arms around her legs. 

“Your girlfriend seems to have a small fan club,” he whispered to Brandon out of the side of his mouth.

“Students most likely,” Brandon said. Catelyn had just finished her first full year of teaching kindergarten. “We run into them _everywhere._ You wouldn’t believe the painful kiddie conversations I’ve had to sit through. She never tells them to go away.”

 _She wouldn’t,_ Ned thought.

She was standing up straight now, smiling at two women he assumed must be mothers of two of the children. As they spoke two men came up and Ned watched his father shake their hands and then turn to introduce Catelyn proudly as his future daughter. He always did that, and it embarrassed Cat to no end as she and Brandon weren’t even engaged, but Rickard found her to be utterly charming and quite refused to consider any possibility other than her eventual formal inclusion in the family.

She laughed at something one of the men said, and Ned’s heart skipped several beats at the sound. _She is so beautiful,_ he thought. Time and distance hadn’t dulled her effect on him at all. He was as transfixed by her as he had been when he’d last seen her beside the big tree they all called the heart tree for reasons no one remembered on Christmas Eve.

He remembered how Lya had found him there.

_“Can you at least try to keep that look off your face?”_

_“What look?” he asked desolately, still staring at the place where she’d disappeared into the trees on the path that led back toward the house._

_His sister sighed. “The one that makes it clear to a blind person that you’re madly in love with her.”_

He swallowed hard now and tried to keep his face carefully blank.

“Well, if it isn’t my prodigal sons!” Rickard Stark exclaimed once they were close enough for him to make the remark without actually raising his voice. “Are you drunk?”

“Jesus, Dad! No,” Brandon said uncomfortably. “I’ve had one beer, for God’s sake.”

Rickard’s eyes rested on Ned then. “Two,” Ned answered without hesitation. “I’ve been here longer than Brandon. And, no. I am not drunk. Nor do I intend to be.”

Rickard nodded, apparently satisfied that neither of his elder sons were going to make fools of him at the moment at least. While he was not a teetotaler by any means, the Stark patriarch did come from Puritan stock and had a very dim view of his offsprings’ much more liberal attitude toward alcohol. He even considered Ned’s drinking habits a tad on the excessive side--something anyone else who knew him would find ludicrous. 

“So Lya finally found you?” Cat asked Brandon, a touch of irritation in her voice. Irritated or not, her voice sounded like music to Ned, and he nearly closed his eyes trying to imagine himself anywhere but here.

“Actually it was Benjen,” Brandon answered smoothly, and Ned nearly smiled in spite of his current state of distress at the fact that his brother had remembered to give their baby brother the credit he’s asked for. “I am sorry, Cat. But I haven’t seen my brother in some time outside of a boardroom, and we had some catching up to do.”

Her eyes flicked to Ned’s only briefly before she looked down as she said, “Hello, Ned.”

“Hi, Cat.” _God. She can’t even look at me. She must really hate me._

“Well, I’m glad to know that at least one of my sons is useful,” Rickard said, but he didn’t sound quite as stern as he had before, and Ned knew that they were not nearly in as much trouble with his father as they might have been. “Brandon, take your delightful young lady to get something to eat. She’s been standing here with me long enough. Eddard, you remain with me for now, and Brandon, come find me before 3pm. There are some very important people I’d like you to meet, and I’ve set up a brief sit down with them then.”

Brandon and Ned both nodded as Ned tried not to feel resentful of the fact that his father had only asked for Brandon to meet whoever these ‘important people’ were in spite of the fact that they both held the title of vice president in the corporation and he certainly did as much work as Brandon. 

“But, Mr. Stark! You have to come sit down and eat as well,” Catelyn protested, and Ned immediately felt guilty that she had been more concerned about his father’s well being than either Brandon or himself. “You’ve been standing here since long before I arrived. Come with Brandon and me at least long enough to get a little food.”

Rickard Stark hesitated for a moment rather than declining her offer immediately, and that in and of itself told Ned that his father indeed needed to eat and probably to rest his legs. He was a very proud man, but he would be sixty on his next birthday.

“Go on, Dad,” he said softly. “I’ll hold down the fort until you or Brandon come back.”

Catelyn looked at Brandon expectantly, but if she was waiting for him to volunteer to stay with Ned, she’d be waiting a long time, Ned thought. Brandon didn’t turn down food lightly and it was nearly two o’clock. The smell of the food from the picnic area made his stomach growl, but Ned resigned himself to wait a bit.

As it turned out, no one relieved him until just after three o’clock, and by the time Benjen wandered over to tell him that Dad and Brandon had gone to meet with some bigwigs from someplace and asked him to play host so Ned could grab a bite, he was starving to death and thoroughly out of sorts. He felt he’d had a fake smile plastered on his face for a year as he’d welcomed people, directed them to restroom facilities, assured them the carnival and pony rides were free and that the food would be served all day, the band would start playing around six, and the fireworks were at ten. He’d answered a million questions about Winterfell’s history and architecture, just making stuff up when he didn’t know the answer.

He wandered back over to the food tents where he was tempted to get one of everything, but contented himself with a hamburger, a hotdog, and large helping of potato salad. He didn’t see Robert and Lyanna anywhere so he simply found a fairly big empty spot at a table and set his plate down. He thanked God for the absence of a line at the beer tent, and having obtained his drink fairly quickly returned to his food to eat in peace.

He’d barely started when he heard that laugh he recognized so well, however, and he turned all the way around to see her standing with a couple and their child who looked about the right age to have been another of her students. He simply looked at her a moment, wondering if he would ever stop feeling the way he did. Then he realized he was staring, and he forced himself to turn back to his food. 

He still saw her though. He saw her as she’d been Christmas Eve, when he’d found her crying by the heart tree without even a coat on.

_“Cat! What’s wrong?”_

_She jumped at the sound of her name and stood up from where she’d knelt on the cold muddy ground, wiping a hand across her eyes. “Nothing, Ned,” she mumbled. “Don’t mind me. It’s just . . .”_

_“Did Brandon do something else idiotic? He’s really drunk tonight, Cat. I don’t know what . . .”_

_“We’re both too drunk tonight!” she said angrily. She shook her head. “I was so mad at him over that silly business with the mistletoe. I told him he should apologize to you--making you kiss me as a joke and then getting mad because you did. It wasn’t your fault!”_

_“Cat . . .I . . .Don’t worry about that. There’s no need to cry over it.”_

_She looked up at him, her blue eyes wide and watery and full of hurt. “That’s not why I’m crying! He said he wasn’t mad at you. He . . .” She bit her lip and Ned saw her shiver._

_He only had on a light jacket as it was fairly mild for December in Winterfell for someone who had grown up there, but he took it off and gave it to her. “What did he say to you, Cat?” he’d asked her gently, simultaneously wanting to kiss away her tears and murder his brother for doing anything to put them there._

_She only hesitated a moment before looking him directly in the eyes. “He said it’s me he’s mad at. Because I obviously liked it!” She shook her head. “He shouted at me, and I know he’s drunk, but . . .Ned, I don’t know what to do!”_

_“He’s drunk, Cat,” Ned repeated. “He’s seeing things that aren’t there. Don’t think about it at all. I know he’ll apologize tomorrow. He always does when he realizes he’s been an ass.” He realized then that he had his hands on her arms, running them up and down over the material of his jacket in a soothing fashion, all too aware of the bare skin of those arms in the sleeveless dress she wore beneath it. She wasn’t moving him away._

_After a moment, he put his hands on her back, and she laid her head against his chest. “I love Brandon,” she insisted with a little sniff._

_“I know,” he told her. “I know. It will be all right.” He was rubbing her back then, and she made a little sighing sound that made him warm deep in the pit of his stomach._

_“Thank you, Ned,” she whispered._

_“Shh,” he said and continued rubbing her back, intensely aware that she was leaning the entire length of her body into him and of what that was doing to him._

_Suddenly, she turned her eyes up toward him, and he looked into the twin blue pools he thought he might drown in. “I love Brandon, Ned,” she said hesitantly and almost breathlessly. Her eyes were slightly hazy and she looked troubled, but she wasn’t crying anymore. “I know I do,” she whispered, not sounding sure at all. Then she licked her lips and he recalled how she’d tasted of wine before._

_He opened his own mouth slightly meaning to say . . .something, but her arms went around his neck then and her lips were on his, and he was kissing her back as he had dreamed doing too many shameful times. Their lips and tongues and bodies pressed together as if neither of them could ever pull them apart and he felt her hands clutching at his neck and back as his own hands moved up and down her back, one of them cupping her ass and causing her to make another little sound that made him gasp._

_He nearly had his hand under the hem of her dress to push it up when the rational part of his mind realized just what he was preparing to do._

_“Stop!” he breathed. “Cat . . .we have to stop. We can’t do this!” He pushed himself away from her and stood there breathing hard with his cock standing out against his trousers, looking at her messy hair and puffy lips and distressed eyes. “I’m sorry,” he breathed._

_She shook her head. “I’m terrible, aren’t I?” she finally cried. “I really am as terrible as he said I was!”_

_She turned to flee, and Ned caught her hand. “You aren’t terrible,” he insisted to her back because she wouldn’t look at him. “You’re drunk. You know you are. You’re drunk and I took advantage of it. I’m sorry, Cat!”_

_“Let me go, Ned!”_

_He did then. He let her go and watched her disappear back toward the house before sinking down to sit on the ground not caring that his trousers would likely be covered with mud._

_“Well, this is a hell of a mess,” came his sister’s voice, and he looked up to see her standing there._

_“Lya?” he said stupidly, as if she might just be an apparition. “How long have you been there?”_

_“Long enough to see you just stop yourself from fucking our brother’s girlfriend right here in the woods,” she said flatly, and Ned flinched at the words._

_“Don’t say that!” he said. “I wouldn’t . . .she wouldn’t . . .” He shook his head. “She loves Brandon.”_

_“I don’t know if she loves Brandon or not,” Lya said. “But I think it’s time you went inside. You aren’t as drunk as Cat, and you’re nowhere near as drunk as Brandon.” She shook her head. “He passed out, by the way. Dad’s furious, but all things considered, I think that’s probably a very good thing.”_

_He barely listened to her, still staring at the spot where Catelyn’s bright hair had disappeared from view. Lya sighed and sat down by him, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Before we go back inside Ned, I’ve gotta ask you to do one thing.”_

_“What?” he asked absently, mind and senses still full of Cat._

_“Can you at least try to keep that look off your face?”_

_“What look?” he asked desolately, still staring at the place where she’d disappeared into the trees on the path that led back toward the house._

_His sister sighed. “The one that makes it clear to a blind person that you’re madly in love with her.”_

“Hey, Ned. Did they finally let you eat?”

At first, he was so lost in his memory that he thought her voice spoke only in his head, but he looked up to see her standing there. Unable to look at her at the moment without gasping for breath, he looked back down at the table, and indicated his plate. “Uh, yeah. Just getting a quick bite.”

“Well,” she said, when he said nothing and didn’t look back up. “I won’t bother you.”

She sounded sad, and he looked up to see her turning away. “Cat!” he said a little too loudly. “Don’t go,” he continued more quietly when she turned around. “You aren’t bothering me.” He forced himself to keep looking at her. “It’s just that we haven’t really talked since . . .” He swallowed hard and didn’t know how to keep talking.

“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry if I’ve made things difficult for you with Brandon. I truly am.”

“You did nothing!” he insisted.

“Ha!” she said bitterly. “Throwing myself at you in the wood behind your house?” She sat down beside him then, but looked straight ahead instead of at him. “Thank God it was you, Ned. Thank God you are you are because I don’t think I would have stopped.”

She sounded so desolate. So angry. _She hates herself,_ Ned realized. _Not me._

“Oh no, Cat,” he said urgently, taking her hand, not even caring who might see or what they thought. “You cannot think like that. Everyone had too much to drink that night. Brandon was a first class dick and you had every right to be angry and upset, and . . .I had my hands all over you, and I never should have done that . . .and none of it was your fault, Cat. None of it.”

“Sweet Ned,” she said softly, removing her hand from his, but patting it gently before she pulled her hand away completely. “That’s what Lya calls you, you know.” She was looking at him now, and it made it a little hard for him to breathe.

“I know,” he said. “She makes fun of me.”

“No!” Catelyn protested. “She sees you. You are sweet, and that isn’t a bad thing or a weak thing. You truly want good for people, and you put other people ahead of yourself. It takes a lot of strength to do that, Eddard Stark. I don’t know many people who can.” She swallowed. “I don’t think Brandon can, and I’m afraid I can’t always do it either. And that’s a problem.”

“What are you saying, Cat?”

She shook her head. “Nothing that should worry you. Nothing that was ever your fault.” She looked him directly in the eyes again. “Brandon is your brother, Ned. And I don’t want any foolish thing I’ve done to ever come between you.”

“It won’t.”

“Really?” she asked him. “Then why have you avoided Winterfell since that night?”

_Because I love you. Because I can’t be near you without wanting to do everything I did that night and more. Because I’m not sweet or strong. I’m selfish and weak and I want you so badly I cannot breathe._

“I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he said. 

“I’ll be more comfortable if I know I haven’t destroyed your relationship with your brother. And I’ll only know that if you’ll come home more often. Can you do that?”

He nodded. For her, he would do anything, regardless of what it cost him. _I’m that lost,_ he thought.

She smiled at him, albeit a little sadly before she stood up. “Ned?” she said. “What I said about thanking God it was you that night? I meant that. Thank you.”

She walked away then, leaving him feeling oddly unsettled. There’d been something off about her last comment, and he found himself honestly wondering if she was thanking him for stopping or for kissing her in the first place. _Don’t be an idiot, Ned._

He went to the house after that, going up to his old bedroom to lie down. His head ached and he realized that might have something to do with drinking nothing but beer all day, so he grabbed a water bottle to take with him. He thought he’d lie there turning over too many things in his head, but he truly hadn’t slept enough the night before, and what with the sleep deprivation, the three beers, and just everything, he actually fell asleep, awaking some time after seven o’clock to the sound of the band playing out on the lawn.

 _Oh, good lord, my father will skin me,_ he thought. He stood up and tried to chase the cobwebs out of his brain by splashing what was left of the water in the bottle on his face. He then did his best to make himself look like he hadn’t been in bed for more than two hours and started back outside. He stopped when her heard the sound of feminine laughter coming from the doorway of Brandon’s room. He knew Catelyn’s laugh as well as he knew his own, and that laugh wasn’t hers.

“So, are you going to call me?” The teasing voice carried into the hallway from the open door.

“I took your number, didn’t I?” Brandon’s voice had that same flirty teasing note to it, and Ned felt sick.

Then he heard a squeal and a giggle followed by the unmistakable sound of two people kissing rather sloppily.

After a moment, a dark haired girl emerged from the room, her hand still holding onto Brandon’s as she strolled out into the hallway. _Emily, from the beer tent,_ Ned thought dully. Brandon was just barely visible from Ned’s vantage point, standing in the doorway buckling his belt. Stunned, Ned didn’t even realize the girl was walking in his direction until she almost ran into him.

“Oh! Hi,” she giggled as she walked past, and Ned heard Brandon swear under his breath as he realized they had been seen.

He looked from the girl to his brother, and found Brandon looking back at him with a mixture of shame and defiance on his face.

“Say what you think you need to say, brother,” Brandon said.

Ned shook his head, unable to say anything, wanting to murder his brother where he stood on Cat’s behalf.

“How dare you?” he finally said. “She’s right here, Brandon. Right outside somewhere and you . . .” He shook his head. 

“Come in here and talk to me,” Brandon said, stepping away from the doorway to allow Ned entry into his room.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Then come in and listen to me, goddamn it!”

That was more than Ned could take, and he flew at his brother in a rage, both fists raised. Brandon had obviously expected something like that because he was ready for him, and Ned only got in one half decent punch to his brother’s gut before Brandon had hold of both his brother’s wrists and they fell to the floor more wrestling each other than boxing.

“She deserves better!” Ned heard himself screaming over and over, and finally he heard his brother shout, “That’s what I told her!”

That stopped him. “What?” he asked, breathing hard.

Brandon was breathing just as hard. “Cat,” he said. “I told Catelyn I didn’t know if I wanted to marry her or if I’d ever want to marry her and that she deserves better.”

“Today?” Ned asked, pushing himself off his brother and sitting up.

Brandon sat up in the floor beside him. “A little over an hour ago, maybe.”

“ A little over an hour ago, and you already . . .? He felt the anger surging again. "What the fuck, Brandon?”

Brandon raised both of his hands. “I know,” he said. “I know.” He shook his head and looked truly guilty. “If you want to hit me for that, go ahead. I won’t even try to block you. Total dick move, and I know it.”

“Why?”

“Why did I tell Cat I didn’t want to marry her? Or why the girl?” Brandon asked, sighing.

“Both.”

Brandon let out a long breath. “I’m twenty-seven years old, Ned. Dad’s all over me about getting married. You wouldn’t believe.” He shook his head. “Which is really kind of unfair since he didn’t get married until he was thirty, but anyway . . .I’m not even close to being ready to get married, and Cat is. Did you see her with those kids today? She glows around kids, Ned. I don’t know if I ever want kids. I’m not that crazy about them in large doses. Oh, I hope you and Lya and Ben have three or four each so I can take them cool places and give them totally awesome presents that you'd never get them and then give them back to you when I’m sick of them . . .but my own kids? Seriously, Ned, can you see me as anybody’s dad?”

Ned didn’t respond, simply waiting for him to continue. “I think I’ve been kind of a dick to Cat for awhile now, to be honest. And, no! I never cheated on her. Not until . . .well . . .” He waved his arm vaguely at the still unmade bed in the room. “But I get annoyed at stupid things, angry at her for no reason, accuse her of shit we both know she’d never do. I mean, look at that stupid shit I pulled with her and you at Christmas. Yeah, I was drunk off my ass, but that’s no excuse.”

“No,” Ned said quietly. “It isn’t.” He paused. “So were you trying to get her to leave you, then?”

“No,” Brandon said quietly. “I don’t know,” he amended. “It’s . . .it’s like I was making her prove over and over again that she would keep loving me no matter how bad I screwed up. No matter how shitty I was. Because I do love her, Ned. I mean, I like being around her. I think she’s smart and kind and sexy as all hell, and . . .I care about her. So, I love her, right? But I keep thinking there’s going to come a day when that could change, and if I’m going to stick with her forever, she better be worth it.” He looked down. “And that’s messed up.”

“That’s more than messed up. It’s abusive,” Ned said flatly.

“Anyway, I didn’t technically break up with her or anything. But I told her that maybe we should both see other people. Maybe should just see if there’s really more out there for both of us before we just settle for what we’ve got. Even though it’s good.”

“And what did she say?” Ned asked.

“She said she agreed.”

“She did?” That took Ned back. _Please God don’t let this be my fault. Don’t let her feel so guilty over what happened at Christmas that she thinks she deserves this._

“And then she cried. And I stayed there until she stopped.”

Ned looked at him.

“I’m not a total dick, Eddard.” Brandon sighed. “Then she said she wanted to go for a walk. On her own. I offered to drive her home, but she said she didn’t want to mess up Dad’s big day and that we were both big people who could suck it up the rest of today.” He shook his head. “She really is a class act, my Cat. I may have just made the biggest mistake of my life. But I just . . .I didn’t think I was being fair to either of us.”

“So you had to do this at the biggest event of the year? Where everyone’s been introduced to her by Dad practically as your wife?” Ned asked incredulously.

“I know! I know! I just couldn’t take it anymore. That conversation we had with Robert . . .watching him and Lya . . .I mean, shit, Ned, when you look at Robert Baratheon and see a better boyfriend than you’ve been in a long time, something is fucking wrong!”

Had his heart not been breaking for Cat, he would have laughed at that, but nothing was funny right now. “And then you just had to fuck the beer girl?”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Brandon said. “I was just . . .after she left to go walk, I felt like a shit about what I’d said to her, about making her cry here, about how I’ve been with her for awhile. And then I started thinking I’d just fucked up royally and I almost went after her to tell her that I didn‘t mean it, and then I got pissed at myself for that! I don’t know, Ned! I just felt like such a total asshole, and I needed a drink. I only meant to get a drink!”

Ned looked at his brother, seriously contemplating taking him up on the offer to punch him in the face when he recalled Lyanna earlier speaking of Robert--when she’d spoken about him feeling guilty, depressed, and hating himself to the point that he fucks somebody to make himself feel better. Ned didn’t understand it, really, but he supposed that maybe Lya hadn’t been as crazy as he’d thought.

“Just try not to hurt her anymore, all right?” he said. “If you’re messed up, keep it about you. Don’t ever make it about her. Do you understand? Because if you hurt her . . .”

“I understand,” Brandon told him. 

Ned nodded and got up to leave the room. As he stepped out into the hallway, he could swear he heard Brandon say very softly, “I understand more than you think I do, brother.”

He had to go back to his own room before going outside in order to make an attempt at looking like hadn’t just gotten in a brawl with his brother, and by the time he made it down to where the band was playing and people were dancing, it was past eight o’clock.

He quickly spotted Robert and Lyanna because they had accumulated a large number of people to watch them put on an exhibition of dirty dancing that would probably give his father hypertension. Ned just shook his head. Both of them were grinning like they were having the time of their lives, so he decided he didn’t particularly care who they shocked at the moment. 

“Ned!” He turned to see Ben running toward him. “Ned! Have you seen Brandon and Cat? Dad wanted them to meet some dude he’s trying to unload that old plant in White Harbor on.”

“No I haven’t,” Ned said, which was only half a lie. He hadn’t seen Cat. “But I don’t think it matters. Not even Cat’s thousand watt smile or Brandon’s famous charm is going to get anyone with two brain cells rubbing up against each other to buy that place. It’s beyond outdated and too expensive to repair. It ought to be razed to the ground so somebody use can that land for something else.”

Ben laughed. “That would explain why Dad didn’t want me to get you, then!” He grinned at Ned and wandered off, presumably still in search of Brandon and Cat. 

_He’s a good kid,_ Ned thought. _Maybe he’ll turn out better than the rest of us._ He heard a loud cheer go up and turned back to see that Robert had actually lifted Lya up above his head and was spinning around with her while she laughed like a maniac. _I suppose we’re not really all bad,_ he thought, allowing himself to smile at his sister.

He needed to find Cat, though. He needed to know she was all right. _And you want to make sure none of this is your fault, you selfish asshole._ If Brandon could admit his faults, then Ned figured he could, too. But he still wanted to find Cat. _I should have asked Brandon where she went,_ he thought. _The woods! We have acres of woods!_

But then a thought struck him, and he found himself walking back toward the house. Instead of going in, he walked around to the path that led through the backyard to the little woods that were more like a garden. Back to where the heart tree was.

She was there, but she wasn’t crying this time. Her eyes were red, so he knew she had been. She sat leaning back against the trunk of the heart tree looking intently at something cupped in her hand.

“Cat,” he said softly.

She looked up at him. “Ned.” She smiled a little sadly. She opened her hand and something flew out of it. “Firefly,” she said, and its light blinked on then as if to prove her words true. “I used to love catching them at at Riverrun when I was little. My sister would pull the lights out of them and stick them to her like jewelry, but my father told me that killed them, so even though I thought Lysa looked pretty with the little glowing lights all over her, I could never bring myself to do it. I just caught them, watched them blink, and let them go.”

“Are you okay?”

She sighed. “You’ve seen Brandon.”

He nodded. 

“Is he okay?”

“I don’t really give a fuck,” Ned said flatly.

“I know that isn’t true.”

“Well, you shouldn’t give a fuck.”

She shrugged. “I loved him something awful for a long time, Ned. I still care about him. Whether I’m in love with him or not.”

“Are you?” he asked her.

She sighed once more. “That should be an easy question, shouldn’t it. But when you get used to the idea of being in love with someone, it’s hard to accept the fact that you might not be.”

“He told me he doesn’t think he’s cut out for marriage.”

“He’s not,” she said flatly. “I’ve known it for a long time. And I definitely want to get married. Not right now, maybe, but some day. I want the kids, the house, even the dog.” She laughed. “And even if I loved Brandon the way I did when we first started out, tying him to all that would be like pulling the light off my little firefly friend there,” she said, nodding at the bug that still floated just above them. “It would kill him.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Ned said. “You deserve to be happy.” 

“You think so?” she asked. “I don’t know if happiness is something you deserve or just something you have to grab onto when it wanders into your life.” She smiled. “I’m sad, Ned. I’m sad because something just wandered out of my life, and at one time, it made me very happy. But I’ll be okay.”

“I don’t want you to be okay,” he said, coming to sit down beside her and lean back himself on the big, wide tree trunk. “I want you to be happy.”

“Do you mean that?” she asked him, turning to look him right in the eyes. 

“Of course I do, Cat.”

She nodded. “Can I tell you a secret?”

He smiled at her and nodded.

She leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Brandon was right at Christmas.”

He looked at her and prepared to tell her that Brandon himself had admitted what an ass he’d been at Christmas, but before he could speak, she said, “I did like it.”

That made him blink. “What?”

“When you kissed me, for what-- two or three seconds under that stupid mistletoe? I liked it a lot, Ned. I liked you a lot, I knew that. But I kept telling myself that I _loved_ Brandon. Then your lips touched mine for an instant, and I knew I was a liar.”

She bit her lip now, and Ned swallowed hard. “It isn’t fair of me to tell you this, I know. I tried so hard to make it not be true. I drank too much after it happened that night because I was trying to make it not be true. I thought if I just didn’t feel anything . . .but then you came here, and . . .what happened wasn’t your fault, Ned. Whatever you believe. That kiss happened because I wanted it to. I wanted you, and I couldn’t stop wanting you no matter how hard I tried to tell myself otherwise. It wasn’t the booze.”

He reached out and touched her hair, the brightest thing in the little clearing in the wood in the rapidly fading light. “Perhaps it wasn’t the booze,” he acknowledged. “But it wasn’t just you, either. I nearly died when Brandon demanded I kiss you on a lark. Because I’d wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“Really?” she looked up at him like she had the last time he’d been in this place with her except that now the air was warm, and those blue eyes were clear, without any haze of alcohol or confusion.

“Really.” 

Then he was kissing her, and her mouth was soft and sweet, and they moved their lips and tongues together with all the passion but none of the desperation that had haunted them both when they’d last been here. He lay back in the grass by the tree and pulled her to lay atop him, their lips never coming apart except to move briefly to each other’s necks or earlobes before coming back together again. 

Her hands were under his shirt, and his were in her hair, tugging it loose from the clasp that held the front part back so that it all fell freely down over his face as she kissed him. Then she sat up suddenly and pulled her shirt off.

“Catelyn!” he said, “What are you doing?”

“Grabbing happiness when it wanders by,” she said, undoing her bra and letting it fall. 

The sight of her beautiful breasts in the very last rays of the fading daylight caused any objections he had to die on his lips and he sat up to put first his hands and then his mouth on them. She pulled his own shirt over his head then, and they explored each other’s skin, feeling their way with mouths and fingers as darkness descended making their eyes almost useless. 

When he felt her reach for the front of her shorts, however, he put a trembling hand over hers in spite of the pressure of his hard cock against the front of his own shorts. “I don’t want you to do this because you are upset,” he panted. “Or guilty, or feeling bad about yourself . . .”

“What?” she asked him, and he nearly laughed with joy to hear the incredulous disbelief in her voice.

“Ned,” she said very deliberately as she moved his hand from hers and proceeded to unzip her shorts and stand to slide them together with her underwear over her hips and down her long legs, “I am doing this because I have dreamed about doing this for a very long time, and now I have nothing keeping me from it.”

She sat back down on his lap facing him in the darkness, and he felt her reach for his hand and place it over the flesh between her legs which was warm and soft and wet. “Unless, of course, you don’t want me.”

He groaned and reluctantly pulled his hand away from her to fumble with his own shorts. “I’ve never wanted anything so much in my entire life,” he assured her breathlessly.

Her musical laugh was his accompaniment as he managed to undo and kick off his own shorts and boxers, and then she was straddled over him, kissing him once more, nothing between them as their bodies met in the dark. When she took him in her hand to guide him where he so very much needed to be, he gasped at the sensation of being surrounded by her. They moved together wordlessly in the dark as he thrust upward to meet each of her movements, and when she gasped and shook, he sat up to hold her tightly against him and she bit his shoulder to keep from crying out. He whispered her name and stroked her back, holding himself still inside her until all the spasms left her and then he carefully rolled them both to lay her down in the grass.

“Is this all right?” he whispered. 

“Yes,” she told him, still breathless from her climax. “Come to me now, Ned.”

She didn’t need to tell him twice. He began thrusting as she wrapped both her arms and legs around him, and he fought to keep from shouting as he came.

As he carefully lowered himself to lie beside her and pull her up against him, they both jumped at the sound of a loud explosion.

“What?” she said.

“It’s ten o’clock,” he laughed. “Fireworks.”

“Oh,” she said. 

“Do you want go see them? The trees will block them here.”

“I don’t think I need fireworks, Ned,” she said with an almost purring note to her voice that made him smile in the dark.

“I don’t think I’ll need anything ever again,” he laughed, tightening his arms around her.

“Mmm,” she said. “Let’s just stay as we are.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You do realize we’re going to have a million bug bites, don’t you?”

“I don’t care,” she insisted.

“And this grass will get itchy.”

“You are determined to be a killjoy, aren’t you?” she teased him.

“I couldn’t kill my joy right now with a machine gun. Insects and itchy grass certainly aren’t going to kill it, Cat,” he laughed.

Another loud explosion rocked the air, this time followed by three more in rapid succession. “Sounds like the celebration is really getting geared up,” she said.

“I hope so,” Ned told her earnestly. “I hope this is just the beginning.”

She purred again, and he kissed her. “We really should get dressed, though,” he said reluctantly. “And then see if we can get all the grass and leaves out of each other’s hair. I will be expected to show up for farewells.”

“Well, if Lord Rickard calls,” she laughed. “He knows you all call him that, you know. He laughed about it with me once.”

“Really?” Ned asked feeling around in the dark for his boxers. 

“Mmhm.” Her voice was muffled as she pulled her t-shirt over her head. “He likes it. Says it reminds him of your mother.”

“She started it,” he told her. “She called him that to his face, though.”

“He still misses her,” she said.

“I know.” He stopped talking long enough to pull on his own shirt. “I think that’s why he was so anxious to get you and Brandon married. He knows what he had, and he’d like to see all of us have the same.”

“You’re right,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice even though he couldn’t see it in the dark. “Brandon never understood that.”

“I’m not Brandon.”

“I know.”

“Are you sure you don’t to go catch the end of the fireworks?” he asked.

“Positive. I’m keeping you to myself as long as I can.”

“Okay, then come here.” He sat down leaning back on the tree again like they had started out and pulled her in to snuggle up beside him. “Happy Independence Day, Cat!”

“I like the sound of that,” she said. “And to quote the little dentist elf from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, maybe we can be independent together!”

“I’d like that very much,” he said, running his fingers through her hair. Then he started laughing.

“What?” she asked him.

“It’s just that Rudolph made me think about Christmas, and I thought about how we kissed here on Christmas Eve, and how much more we did here on the Fourth of July.” He felt for her hands and put them up on his face so she could feel his grin. “What the hell are we going to do here on Labor Day?”

They both laughed then, and Ned felt dizzy and happy and hopeful and terrified all at once, but mostly he just felt content to have Cat with him here in this moment. He’d feel content in every moment he could have her with him, and he found himself thanking God that Brandon was too big a fool to realize what a treasure that kind of contentment truly was.

“Well, I can’t say that I’m sure what we’ll do here for Labor Day,” she told him, running her long fingers over his head and down his cheek through his beard. “But can I tell you another secret, Eddard Stark?”

He turned his head to lean his ear into her lips.

She kissed that ear before she whispered, “I can’t wait to find out.”


End file.
